


Finwë’s Nose

by Oshun



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-17 00:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12353556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oshun/pseuds/Oshun
Summary: Celebrían goes into labor. Galadriel is there to help. (Don't worry no graphic childbirth details here.) Crack fic.





	Finwë’s Nose

The entrance to Elrond and Celebrían’s bedroom, unlike the apartments of Galadriel and Celeborn in Lothlórien, were never guarded. The hallway was completely deserted and the house quiet. Elrond thought he might have seen a glimpse of Erestor's black robes disappear around a corner near the staircase.  
  
“Should we go in or should we knock?” Celeborn asked.  
  
“She was trying to take a nap, but she can’t sleep at all these days. I’m sure she’s awake,” Elrond said.  
  
Galadriel pursed her lips together and wrinkled her brow. “Maybe you should look inside first," Galadriel insisted. “You know how she can be about me—always complaining that I have no respect for her privacy. She thinks I am overbearing.”  
  
Celeborn snorted and grinned at Elrond behind her back.  
  
“Fine,” said Elrond, opening the door. He poked his head in and spotted her sitting in his oversized chair with a pillow behind her back and her feet propped up on another resting upon a large footstool. “Guess who’s here, darling,” he chirped, trying to sound cheerful.  
  
“Hmmm. I think can sense my mother and my father. Or maybe the loud palaver in the hallway tipped me off," Celebrían said, giggling like a girl. "I don’t want to get up. I just got comfortable. Tell them to come in here!” The circles under her eyes looked darker than they had less than an hour ago, her skin paler, and her lips trembled as she smiled towards the doorway before she burst into loud, wracking sobs at the sight of her parents. “Ada! Nana! I'm so glad you are finally here. I feel terrible. I'm so miserable.”  
  
Celeborn reached her chair first and fell to his knees, pulling her into his arms. “Oh, my darling girl. Look at you. No wonder you don’t feel well. You’re enormous! I’ve never seen anyone so big with child in my entire life.”  
  
“Oh, please,” Galadriel snapped. “She doesn’t want to hear that!” She grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him aside. Extending her graceful hand to hover hesitantly—if Galadriel could ever be said to hesitate—over Celebrían’s belly, she said, “May I?”  
  
“Go on!” Celebrían said, sniffing. Elrond raised his eyebrows at his wife, willing her to understand that she did not have to endure one of Galadriel’s unnecessarily invasive manipulations if she did not want to. She took a deep breath and gave him a tiny, hopeful smile. “Truly, go ahead, Nana. Tell me if they are all right. They haven't moved all day.”  
  
She gently rested her hand on Celebrían’s abdomen and withdrew to wherever that place is where Galadriel goes when she does whatever that thing is that she does. It felt to Elrond as though everyone held their breath for a minute at least.  
  
Then Galadriel smiled triumphantly and came back to them as easily as she had left. Patting Celebrían on her gigantic belly, she said in her most soothing voice, “They’re fine. You’re going to be fine. They are quiet—sleeping now. Babies often do that shortly before one goes into labor. They are two perfectly healthy, perfectly happy little boys.”  
  
Elrond groaned. He had told her more than once that Celebrían did not want to know their sex until they were born! Celeborn shook his head and shrugged his shoulders at Elrond, sighing.  
  
Then Celebrían cried out sharply and moaned, leaning forward in the chair.

Galadriel barked at Elrond, "Are you timing this?" How? He wondered, maybe cook had an egg timer. But before he could move, Celebrían began to relax.

“Ow! _What_ was that?” she demanded of the group.  
  
Celeborn drawled, “If I were to make a completely uninformed guess, I might say that could have been your first labor pain.”  
  
Erestor burst into the room, agitated and flapping, like a crow taking flight. “What's happening? What did I miss!”  
  
“I doubt if you missed a thing. You’ve been lurking in the hallway right outside the door,” Galadriel said. “She just had a contraction. You should go find the healer who has been looking after her. One cannot be too cautious with twins!”  
  
“Varda’s stars, Artanis!” Erestor all but screamed. “I thought you told her something really terrible, like that they were going to be born with Finwë’s nose!”

\----------------

For more on Finwë’s nose see my story [No Justice to Yourself](http://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/archive/home/viewstory.php?sid=651) (2009) or my original source for the nose in [Dream a Bitter Style](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831891) (2007) by Darth Fingon.

 


End file.
